Ask a Coach: Dealing with a Disruptive Board Member

Q: I have a Board member who monopolizes meetings with long, micro-managing questions on pieces of business that have nothing to do with her role. (It’s the ED’s job to do much of what she presses on about, and the ED is doing a great job.) This person makes Board meetings very tedious – so much so that other Board Members are becoming disillusioned about coming to meetings.  Who should speak with her on this behavior? And what may be some good opening words?

A: Good for you for taking action. This kind of disruptive behavior is often ignored. But as you’re seeing, the consequences can be far reaching.

With Board members, peer to peer communication is often most effective. If possible, ask a fellow Board member to address this issue. If that is not an option, identify a senior staff member with whom she has a good working relationship. Whoever does the talking, this should be a one-on-one conversation that takes place in a neutral setting.

When you sit down with her:

• Begin by genuinely acknowledging her commitment to the organization. No matter how disruptive her behavior, it likely comes from a desire for the organization to be its best. “I appreciate your commitment to _____. It’s clear you care about getting this done right.” 
• Ask about her concerns, and listen closely to her response. In order to diffuse her disruptive behavior, you’ll need to understand what’s driving it. “You seem to be concerned about ____. Tell me what’s worrying you.” 
• If she’s missing information about what is being done behind the scenes to address her worries, fill her in. “We’re concerned about ___, too. Here’s what we’re doing to make sure it’s right.” 
• Name your own concerns. Now that you understand what she wants, share your own desires.
• Ask her to help you design a solution that meets both your needs. “It is important that this effort is successful. I want you to feel confident that the staff is managing it well so we can focus Board meetings on higher level issues. How can we make that happen?” 

By acknowledging, listening, and making her a partner in the solution, you’ll develop a foundation for more productive communications and less tedious Board meetings. Good luck!